Since I last wrote to you, that seems to be a major theme. But then I remembered where All Her Muses started, and then remembered it's been a cornerstone all along. In 2014, when we were still a cover band, I would only sing the songs that pierced and comforted me the most. We were practicing Anais Mitchell's "Changer" which I had been life-lining to for a while. It described the loss and complete disconnection I felt from a person I loved so deeply. I was in Grey's living room, it was sunny. I was doing OK and when I got to the lines:
I'm watching the birds fly by
I'm watching the highways cross
Speaking of loving you, I do
My voice cracked and caught and I didn't know what I was doing, at all. Every singer knows that you can't truly sob and sing. Snot is not good for pitch or phrasing. Start doing that on stage and you're fucked. Which is why rehearsals are important.
Anais's song is so unbelievably wise. It's suspended in both grief and happiness. It's reconciling with itself -- I'm telling you stranger to stranger (changer to changer). Because you don't always get to say goodbye in the ways you'd like to.
This is the part where I tell you so much has changed in the last 5 weeks. We released our second single, Instinct (featuring Bitch). I finished mixing and mastering the album and we finished the chapter of All Her Muses in its original form. I wasn't intending to finish this album for the reasons I started it: with a breakup. I lost my best friend and music partner, which isn't the same as losing a lover. I'd argue it's worse. But here we are. In the last 5 weeks, I've formed a new band for our album release show, new skill-set(s), and recommitted myself to this project in ways I didn't think I needed. In some ways, I had become the stranger in my own band, and now I'm the changer of it. I couldn't make up these parallels if I tried...
Our only live album release show on will be on May 12 at Slash Run DC with Seamstresses and Emily Henry. Emily sings some amazing harmonies on two tracks of this LP.
It will be live-streamed so if you are not local or do not feel safe attending (masks and vax card required) you can still catch it. You can also make a donation on Venmo so that I can figure out what the next chapter of All Her Muses is. I promise that after a brief hiatus, more accessible, virtual, creative events are coming.
Below are the lyrics and a link to Anais's song -- she is such a muse to me.
Speaking of loving you, I do,
Natalie
CHANGER
If I can't keep it
At least let me call it by name
That was called falling
This is called pain
It's called love, what I'm losing
I know love is a stranger
I know that changes come
I know love is a changer
I'm gonna go quietly
You don't have to tell me to
Just let me lie here a little longer
Next to you
I'm not trying to bother you
I'm just trying to breathe you in
And then I will leave you there
Where you are sleeping
But speaking of loving you, I do
I'm telling you stranger to stranger
Whatever changes come to you
I'm telling you changer to changer
Morning has stolen your shadow from me
But I hold its shape in my mind
It's the shape of your back when you turned it on me
One last time
Out in the waking world
Nobody understands
Exactly how light it is
Exactly how free I am
One minute I'm laughing
And the next one I'm lost
I'm watching the birds fly by
I'm watching the highways cross
Speaking of loving you, I do
I'm telling you stranger to stranger
Whatever changes come to you
I'm telling you changer to changer
If I can't keep it, at least let me call it by name